Selena and Justin this is my real story
by Selenapierce
Summary: They fell in love one summer. A little too wild for each other... Shiny 'til it wasn't, feels good 'til it doesn't


She was 19, she thought she was mature enough but barely she knew how innocent she was, I mean she grew up watching her house being set on fire every single day, she thought she met the devil already, nothing could scared her anymore. She learned how to be alone, to be honest she always felt lonely no matter where she was, even at home surrounded by her family. She loved them too much but she felt the need to find her place in the world, she thought she had it when she left home but it wasn't enough. She always felt like a little bird she has this things inside of her, I can't explain.. it's like she needs to fly otherwise she will explode because of all the emotions she has inside of herself. She was always 8 or 80. She felt nothing or she felt too much, she was a dreamer, she needs to know theres people awake outside, she doesn't like to feel like everyone is dead out there in the world. She feels too much, it's insane and she want's believe people can feel to much too because dead people are the worst for her. She went to London, so lost so lost, couldn't even speak english. Lived by herself alone in a house as soon as she got there. Kinda scary.. only 19yo and her first time facing the world like that. She needed to be strong, she was excited, it was scary and it was hard but she was never afraid of anything. She loved a challenge, she got there alone and she found good souls she found out she could have friends in that weird place, in that weird new world. She was really happy, can you believe it? Living with 50£ a week, working every single day, getting out of bed so early when it's dark and cold and coming back home when it's again dark and cold. She was making money, she was a hard woker thats all that matter but of course she had other challenges. She found out she was giving everything she could and would not have it back. She was happy because she thought she could change her life she saw a opportunity to help her family, that was her dream. She never does anything for herself, she worries more about those people she loves, which is fine since she does't love many people, so she prioritizes those who got that spot in her heart. Unfortunately things started getting bad, someone she loved a lot passed away.. can you believe all those months away from her family one ocean away.. she knew this was gonna happen but she couldn't face it. She was in a dinner, little tipsy, her mother sent her a message asking to talk to her and she said "please don't tell me anything sad now" she knew she couldn't handle it. She kept drinking and she forgot about it.. she was partying the whole night. She passed out wokeup in the next day with her brother sending her a message saying that the person passed away.. she didn't even remember. Can you imagine? She kept going on with that day, she didn't cry to her roommate even tho they were friends.. she didn't cry at all. She couldn't handle losing people, she didn't greave. Until months later when she drank only few dranks and passed out started freaking out in a club and went home crying and everyone saw it, no one could understand what was going on, but she knew that she was holding that for a long time. She got really close to a friend, her roommate, she could count on her for everything, her roommate left and she met a boy.. a really cute boy, she met him by accident while trying to meet justin bieber, that is funny. This little boy who was cute but was always after her too much and she was like "omg another one who will be after me". One day her roommate left, she was so sad and broke inside, she went to the park with this little boy she met, they drank wine, she told him she wasnt feeling okay, he said it was okay, i don't really know how, I don't remember when, she just put this boy in everything, they were seeing each other almost everyday.. I mean when she was free because if it was for him it would be all the time. I remember she went to paris and she had this little boy texting her telling her that he misses her. She didn't like him but she thought it was cute, she decide to make a surprise to him when she went back to london, I remember his face, he always told her he doesn't like surprises but I think thats when he fell for her. He was so happy to see her, they kept seeing each other and one day he left to Germany, it was so weird because she missed him? Like what? She was confused, she thought this guy was living in London just like her, she thought he worked good there and could stay as much as he liked, she didn't know.. I mean if she knew she would have got out of this situation before. She doesn't take risks. She just gets into something if she thinks its gonna work, she doesn't like to lose. This boy came back to London they saw each other and omg I can remember how the feeling of when they saw each other was still, was the most beautiful thing. Two weird souls trying to embrace each other, I mean what else could you expect from two people who just met and are holding each other and dancing on the street at 5am? Thats what they did the first night they met. They were so intense, something there was just too much. It was since the beginning, she took a long time to realize. This guy was define into her, I remember her friend would tell her he would be jealous of her when they were out together, I mean I think he wanted to be with her. She didn't know. She was always too slow you know, she is so afraid of loving people because she is afraid of losing people. She loves not having a dad just because she won't suffer when he dies.. thats sad I know. It's the way she is. I just remember one day she was with this boy and he said he needed to go back to his country, she got confuse she didn't know what was going on. It was in the middle of the night they just got out of a night club and they were tipsy, she had to run to her house to give the keys to her friend and when she got there she was so shocked, she told her friend what happened and she kinda started to cry while saying it? She was confused? Why was she crying? Did she care? She couldn't care.. he was leaving. Her friend told her to go back to his place and talk in person, he wanted her back. She came back and they lay down in bed, she couldn't say a thing, she just shut down when she feels too much. And she didn't want to feel anything. He was saying somethings. It looks like he was sad.. did he like her? For the first time, the very first he said he loved her, she was shocked she couldn't say anything back, she touched his face and she felt tears rolling down his face.. he was crying, he loved her. How? He said he wanted to be with her, she said she was scared how could they date? She couldn't even visit him, he said it was gonna work because he wanted to be with her. He said he would come back soon and she trusted him.. she trusted him? Do you know what this means to her? She never trusts anyone. And this way, on September 24th, late night they started dating. It was the begging of the most strong powerful thing she ever felt. I remember they still had few days left, it ended up that the guy was a little clumsy and messed up the day of the flight and he stayed with her for few days, only them two. It was everything she could ask for, she didn't want him to leave. It was like she finally set free all the feelings she had and she wasn't scared anymore. I mean she didn't even know what she was getting into, she didn't know what was gonna come next but she trusted him since day one. She chose to trust him, she wanted that to work she would do anything for that to work and she thought he would do the same, thats the thing about her. I know I know, it's not okay to do something expecting something back. But if she jumps for you, if she would give everything for you she expects the same. I hope it changes one day because that way she only hurts herself, not everyone does that for you, not everyone has the same empathy. She only accepted to be with him believing he was gonna come back. He didn't.. it took a lot of phone calls facetime they were connected anytime. She started losing herself a little, she didn't even realize. I remember they made a phone call on facetime for 9 hours.. yes 9 hours straight with someone on the phone, talking and talking and I mean they barely knew each other. What was that? I told you they were too intense, that love was something from another planet. She was working but sometimes she wouldn't sleep so she could be awake when he was awake and then go straight to work. She was already forgetting a bout herself a little, but what could she do? She is loyal and when she loves someone she does everything for them. Time passed, months without seeing each other, few fights, she wanted to give up many times. She was ready for it many times even that she liked him, but he said no, he said he would change, he said it was gonna be worth it. He wanted to take away her freedom, but without doing anything to run to her. She just needed him, why couldn't him understand? If they were not together wasn't her fault. They made it and finally 6 months later they finally saw each other. I told you she was loyal and she does everything for those she loves. She brought him to be with her, even tho he was the one complaining the most. She knew someone needed to be strong and she knew it was on her since he was all about talks only, no actions. She blamed herself so much for buying a ticket for a boy to come to see her when she has never done that to her family.. that is one of her biggest dreams. But when they finally saw each other everything made sense. She got there by surprise again in the house, she saw him, he was waiting for her from the window. Omg it was him, right in person right there in front of her. She couldn't believe it, after months away she thought he wasn't real anymore. They got home, a whole place for themselves, it was so magic that I could never describe in my life. She loved him so fucking much she was so happy she was glowing, it was all a dream, his hug, his face, his body it all close to her. Again those two free souls who met in the street at 5am, two strangers dancing like they knew each other from forever they met again, in another country, and there they were, making love everywhere, making food, making love, hugging, kissing making love. He doesn't even know about this, he probably doesn't remember but one day they were in the kitchen, it was sunny, the sun was reflecting on him, she held him so strong, she saw an angel, she saw his soul. She remembers that moment so well, that day, that time she knew she needed that soul in her life forever. She loved this person more than anything, when she got to Germany her mind was in a dark place, she wasn't being herself. For the first time she was a little bit scared. She always loved crowd places, she needed that to feel alive, can you believe she started fearing that? I think she was introduced to panic attack. He was there to help her, it was a new feeling being introduced to her. She never needed anyone to help her feel okay, she would make herself feel okay. To be honest she would not even open up to someone to say she was sad, do you remember when she lost someone and she didn't share that with anyone? I don't understand why. She never wanted to be weak, or she never wanted anyone making fun of her feelings, I don't know what it was but if she felt bad she would just hold it to herself always. No matter what.. for the first time she opened up to someone. She told him she was feeling fears when she felt, she would tell him sometimes when she felt sad. Not all the time, as I said it was something new for her, and it was amazing because it felt like he cared about her, he didn't think she was weak just because she felt or made fun or her feelings and this way he became her best friend. I can honestly tell you she trusted him so much that she would share anything with him, thats not her at all. She just felt so much for him, he helped her, he was there and she needed. He was there when she cried. Yes.. cried. So crazy, the most strong girl, the one who never cries, the one who is never sad. She started crying a lot, they were in heaven and some how it started becoming a hell. He said she was asking too much from him but she was only too scared, she was asking his help to get into his country, she said she would leave everything behind to be with him. Was she asking to much? She was doing a lot of work, she would do anything. She was just so scared of losing him again, maybe thats why she changed, she asked too much bc she knew she couldnt take another 6 months again and she thought always if he left she was never gonna see him again and that thought killed her, ripped her apart. He was everything. The relationship got heavy, I can say she was always mature, very mature, and respectful but things changed. I think she got really disappointed when she trusted him and found out he spoke to his ex behind her back.. I mean he carried that lie for months while she asked. They got into their first big fight, she was screaming in the apartment she just couldn't believe that that was happing to her. He was her best friend how could he lie to her? She shared her life with him and he lied to her. I can say things just got worse from there. She kept afraid of losing him and that was taking over her mind, she couldn't relax not even for a second she started getting anxious. She couldn't lose him.. not him, not her best friend, he was her little soul. I don't know how it happened but they started disrespecting each other too much. It was insane because she would never put herself in that position she would never allow it, she grew up seeing an abusive relationship I just know that the fire between them wasn't the same anymore. That happy couple from months ago who was making love anywhere they could even at the parks couldn't do it anymore. It felt like they were married for years and the relationship had fail. I dont know why, she loved him so much she just needed him to do the right thing. She felt like she was falling bc even if she did everything she could, if he didn't do his part she would fail still. She was losing and she hated it. I know the year was over, she had a conversation with him and at the airport she asked to breakup, she said she wouldn't be able to go through another birthday without him there. She said she wanted him to see her family. Family is everything for her, she loves her family more than anything and he became family for her too. He was her family so they needed to meet, he said he was gonna work hard to do it and again she accept, again she chose to believe him because thats what she wanted, she wanted everything to be okay. They left, she got home and she was distroyed. For two weeks she couldn't get out of bed, her family was sad for the way she was treating them.. what a selfish bitch I could say. Treating her family bad because she was in pain, she could't believe that that was happing again, the moment she was fearing so much.. she lost him again. And theres nothing she could do to go to him, she even tried. She booked ticket, she asked his help to get her into his country. You have no idea how this girl went crazy, every single day that she was supposed to spend with her family she spent trying to get to this boy. I look back to her and I feel so sad, I think her mental problems started there. She was completely destroyed and depressed, she needed him. Why couldn't him understand? She was doing everything to go to him but she couldn't. Why couldn't him understand? She started crying, she cried, she cried every single day. For the first time she went to a doctor to tell him she couldn't handle her emotions anymore. How did we end up here? That smart, strong woman became this sick soul. She needed help, she needed him and for the first time her best friend was not there anymore. She begged him calls, she told him she wasnt okay, he would get mad at her. He would hung up phones, he would go out with other people while she was crying so much at home that she wanted to take her heart out. She went crazy, she needed him. And he was pressuring her mentally, he didn't give the help she needed. She was trying to reach him every single day trying to find that comfortable and warm place he offered to her before. Where was her best friend? After a hard time they made it to London, 3 months away felt longer that the 6 months they spent away before. I'm gonna tell you that when they saw each other things had changed already. Remember in Germany? It wasn't a dream anymore when she saw him. She was depressed still, she had too many scars from him now and she knew he was no longer her best friend anymore. But they were together, she would hug him and feel home still. She knew she loved him more than anything. She just felt something weird going on, she started seeing red flags. She thought he had mental problems. She thought he was hurting and every single day she was hurting for him too. She couldn't see him sad so she would try to do anything to cheer him up. After 3 months seeing each other the only thing you would think doing is hugging each other and being okay but after one week she wokeup with him trying to get into her phone.. one week? The fights started. She loved him so much but she knew he wasnt normal. That jealously wasnt normal. She felt like she couldnt be herself to please him so she stoped being herself, she got away from her friends she stoped going to place she changed everything that she liked about herself to please him. She just wanted it to work, maybe she changed herself so much that he no longer liked her anymore. They got into physical fight, i dont know how that couple from the begging ended up here. I dont know why she ever hurt him if she would take a bullet for him, she was screaming. I can see she wasnt well. She was in pain, could he see it? I dont think so. She realized he had a lot of issues. She thought he was depressed, she thinks she knows him more than anyone else and I think its true. The thing is that she was already in a bad place bc of him.. she needed help but instead she wanted to take him out of the hole he was in. She was in pain but she didnt care about herself, she wanted to save him. The truth is that she would rather die helping him than be okay and heal herself first. That love was no longer beautiful anymore, but it was strong, she would never give up, not anymore. She knew he was bad for her but she needed him too, why couldnt him understand? It looks like they will finally have peace since she is about to go to his country. She thought all the problems were solved and that they will have the peace they deserved. Love always wins, and I will win. Thats what she thought, she lost. She found out that the little boy cheated on her, I could try to explain what she felt but I dont even know if she can explain that. Her world fell. All the old demons she would see when she was younger came back. I can not understand how that could be true... her best friend? After her loyalty? She would die for you if she needed too.. and thats what she did, I think she died in London the moment she realized. That beautiful history came to the end. I dont even know if it was beautiful, I can say now she wonders if it was true or a fantasy from her mind. They were about to go to a trip together.. now she was all alone. The pain was eating her alive inside. He told her to be strong.. barely him knew how much she could not be strong anymore. She was sick, so sick, she needed help now. She always wanted to help, now she needed help. Her mind went crazy until the trip, they saw each other and it was done for her. She was in pain but she knew it was done. He asked her to stay, he said he loved her again and gave her hopes. She would look at him and see a broken soul. That would break her inside. His pain was her pain too.. and I can tell you she could not take any more pain. She decided to give a try. She didnt want to leave him, she wanted to save him, to cure his soul. She tried so much until she couldnt. He made so much bad things to her, I think he ruined her in a way no one else could ever do. I just dont understand why she is still caring about him. She thinks and miss him every single second. She prays for him, she wants him happy even that she doesnt think he wants the same. She needs help but she would do anything to help him, bc she knows he needs. I think deep down she thinks she knows him more than anyone and she thinks she is the only one who can help saving him, she needs help so much right now, she is so lost and broke but it doesn't matter for her because if she can she will help him, so she tries to. And she will keep trying while she breathes. I think she will love him forever, she is loyal and family for her is everything. He was her family


End file.
